The problematic polarization of public rhetoric

Tom A. Toe, senatorial candidate from the red party, recently waffled on a reporter’s pointed question about food preferences, thus conspicuously displaying his hatred of bananas.

Although reds complain that bananas are largely starch, recent studies widely tout the health benefits of bananas. By contrast, tomatoes, which the reds feel contain more vitamins, are likelier to cause indigestion, have some of their reported health benefits only when cooked (unnecessary with bananas), and grow closer to the ground where they are more susceptible to rabbits. Tomato skins also can contain pesticides, whereas these are easily removed with the peels on bananas.

Toe’s obvious sidestepping of an explicit question underlines his status as a banaphobe. Bananaphobia is a form of rhetorical violence, comparable to the hatred of geese, and should be banned from public discourse. That some members of the red party have denounced Yellows as tomatophobes, based on a few extreme voices, simply demonstrates the depths of falsehood to which banaphobes stoop. This state will be much safer and more respectful for everyone if banaphobes, the party of extremism, are silenced, banned, and reformed so they can participate more helpfully in our free and open society.

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